As you follow the rough abandoned road you will find a creaky redish-brown barn, drive further. You will see a circle of trees. Old, crooked and winding tree stumps, beside beautiful oaks. In that circle of nature there is a house. It is small, interesting looking house.
Do you remember drawing pictures as children? The perfect house with the perfect triangle roof? A beautiful garden of rose pedals sat on the bright green ground, with that one single flourished tree that your father promised to build you a treehouse? Take that picture now and erase it from your mind. Erase it as you would erase an Etch-a-Sketch. Take this perfect picture and run a red and black crayon all across it! This house in the bush is a horrible place to be. Once you’re in, you can never escape.
As you pull into the drive way, you get the sense of illusions, as if people are watching you from near and afar. The house is over 100 years old, covered in brown shingles that are each covered delicately with green moss. The windows are brown and leaky looking. As you enter the house you have to walk onto the creaky and dead wood set of steps. Open the door now, Jiggle the door handle and watch as it falls out of its socket. You must push the old, heavy door open. As you walk through this abandoned home that used to be an elegant home, 100 years ago. You will see a lonely kitchen table with a few chairs. The wallpaper is old, very old. It is painted with sunflowers, and bright yellow curtains. Beside the kitchen table is a fire stove. Thinking back, you realize a family lived here before you came and invaded this antique home. But there is a reason you are here.
You heard rumors, gossip, and theories of this house. The little boy who lived here with his family went on a mass murder and killed his family with a hatchet. It is rumored that the boy still sits in his bedroom waiting for another person to come in contact with him. This is your chance to find some answers.
You head upstairs now, snapping shots of the creepy home, Old couch, mice roaming, and the smell of cat urine covers any normal existing scent inside. Upstairs consists of three bedrooms, (no bathrooms) because each room has a feces bucket. It reeks of death and makes you hold your breath as if you were going to be sick. You head to the little boys bedroom, passing the girls room that lays old dolls with X’s on the eyes and dirt smeared all over the faces. In the boys room you see slacks spread out on the floor, as if homeless people were bunking here, but they were boys’ slacks. You turn around in shock and then something terrifies you that you drop your camera to the bloody covered floor.
You wake up. Seeing red. You try to sit up, but feel excruciating pain in your stomach. Trying to run away and go home to safety you look down to your legs. There missing! You’re losing consciousness, as you start feeling cold and sleepy; you see a hatchet in bloody hands standing above you. It’ll all be over soon. Close your eyes now. Ignore your numb feelings; ignore the feeling of losing everything you had for this investigation. It’s all over.
The boy got what he wanted. Another human contact. He puts the hatchet to rest… until next time.
Thing you did well: Description, details, engagement, building suspense, narrative details.
ReplyDeleteThings to improve: sentence fragments, descriptors