Scary
There was and old house that no one lived in there for years but there was a ghost that lived in the big brick house now. Bob decided to go into the house and see if this ghost was real. He found out the bad way that ghosts really are real! Bob got his things all together for the night and headed over to the house. He made it to the house around five o’clock he unpacked and went around the house. The stairs were broken out to the upstairs but he wanted to get up there so he jumped up on the banister and made it to the top where he discovered that the windows were all broken out and the left over tables were upside down. He climbed down back to the main floor and waited for nightfall. Nightfall came and weird things started to happen doors where banging against the door jams and he started getting scared. He saw flashing white streaks in front of him but he thought it was a bunch of dust blowing in the wind. Then he heard voices and heavy breathing the voice was really deep. The ghost said “Go away from here or else you will pay”. He was super scared now and decided he was going to leave.
He packed up all his stuff and went to go out the door and it shut in his face the ghost throw a pile of books at him he ran back towards the door and fell out he ran towards the road when a truck hit him and he was killed. He is know apart of the house to he best friends with the ghost that tried to kill him in the first place. If you see that house run! run for your life!
I thought I did my wording really well and I stayed in 3rd person the whole story. I need to work on run on sentences because I have a lot of run ons in here.
ReplyDeleteWhat's with title? What's going on there Brock? The ghost threw a pile of books, not throw. Could have described the setting better as well.
ReplyDeleteSomething you did good was the main story, there was good potential there.
Brock, you did well with your describing but it got a little unrealistic when as soon as he walks outside he gets hit by a truck? What are the chances of that. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteThe story was a little unrealistic, and I don't believe it was true. But, there was good detail in the story.
ReplyDeletethe story wasn't that realistic but there was good detail
ReplyDeleteGood detail, some sentences were a little hard to understand.
ReplyDelete