Wednesday, September 29, 2010
This ain't NO ROMANCE novel
Have you ever been standing, staring into an obviously empty barn, yet knowing the fact a man hung hi mself there? He was about 18 years old when he killed himself. One day he was home alone, his father and brother were hauling grain before they got home, but they got home they couldn’t find him. They searched the house, they checked the fields, and on the porch. They didn’t find him anywhere. When they finally found him his body was swinging slightly back and forth hanging by his neck in the barn. He had hung himself in the loft, the only things up there were some old straw bails. It was dark, rather scary up on the top floor of the barn.They had no idea why he would want to end his life. They didn't want people to find out that he had done this to himself, so they took him down, and ran him over with a grain truck, so no one would know the truth. makes perfect sense, right?
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Josey,
Scary Story
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One thing you did well was your topic sentence. It caught my attention.
ReplyDeleteOne thing you did not so well was spelling himself.
Cool beans man. I like your topic sentence, and your title. Just work on description to stretch it out more.
ReplyDeleteCool story. Topic sentence was awesome. You could of made it longer and worked on your spelling.
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ReplyDeleteVery good topic sentence. The story was a little short and could use more detail.
ReplyDeleteMore detail, LOVED THE TITLE .
ReplyDeletegood topic sentce and title but could use alittle more detail
ReplyDeleteVery good story, pretty good detial but could have been longer.
ReplyDelete